My morning is very quiet.  No radio, no television, no phone calls, just me. And, of course, Bailey, our 15 year-old-dog, and Tigger Noelle (we couldn’t agree on a name), our 6-year-old cat.  They are napping, and I am wishing I were, too.  However, if I nap, I might miss it – that still, quiet voice that I only hear on mornings such as this.

I long to hear this voice.  I’ve come to LIVE for this voice.  HIS voice.  Yet it hasn’t been all that long ago that I didn’t take the time to listen for it.  I was always too busy, too afraid of being caught “doing nothing”.  After all, even though I am 67 years old, my parents’ lessons still guide me.  “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”  That was one of the ones I heard most.  Still, I needed to have time to think and daydream – that was the kind of kid I was then, and the kind of adult I am now.  So as a kid I learned to hold a book and look like I was reading (which I always loved anyway) so I could have thinking and dreaming time.

Now, I have embarked on a journey to judge the success of my days by the silent moments.  One of my favorite Bible verses has always been “Be Still and Know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10, NLT). There is a depth of meaning in those few words. Although many summaries and commentaries tell us what the larger picture of Psalm 46 means, these few words have a huge meaning in themselves: we are not to be fearful, fretful or impatient. God is in control, and it is our job to follow His lead and turn our will over to Him.  It’s not an easy task.  I might not be up for the challenge if it weren’t that I heard His voice telling me that it is my season for stillness.  Because the Lord whispered this to me in the quiet of my morning and I HEARD HIM.  In the depths of my soul I HEARD HIM. To me, this is as much of a miracle as the loaves and fishes.  It makes me wonder how many times He has spoken to me and I didn’t hear Him. I wasn’t listening or didn’t want to listen because I was afraid of what He would say.  But this time I HEARD HIM, and I am ready.  I want to learn to wait for Him to reveal the next step and the next and the next.  I am setting up my own quiet space so I can have many moments with Him. My heart is so full of joy I don’t know where to start. So I am waiting in stillness for His guidance on that too.  I think I am getting the hang of this waiting stuff.  Instead of always being in “fix-it” mode, I can sit and not tax my brain over the “how-to”.  The Lord knows how and in His time he will tell me how so I can do His bidding.  It’s a breath of fresh air to know I don’t have to be in charge.  I don’t have to have all the answers. My type A personality doesn’t like being pushed to the back burner, but in a lot of ways it’s a relief .  Certainly there are times when it’s inconvenient, even difficult to live this way.  But the Lord keeps reminding me that He is in charge and that my job is to keep Praying. And Listening. And Waiting.

Rest. What we dream of as we scurry about attempting to complete our 50-item to-do list.  We continually tell our friends (and whoever else will listen) that we wish we had time to rest. I feel I’ve been looking for the time to “rest” since I was a young mother with very small children. Now, as a Grandmother, I find myself still looking for that time to rest.

It’s kind of funny, actually. I’m retired now, but seem busier than ever. Some of it is because it takes me longer to do things. Some of it is that now I have the time to help out here and there. Mostly though, it’s lack of focus. It seems as though I start my days walking the dog, giving him medications (he’s older than me in people years), doing various and sundry things as they cross my path with no real plan or purpose. At the end of the day I’m exhausted and don’t really know why.

I’ve heard it a thousand  times in Bible studies and Church sermons; read it in every inspirational blog and book: start the day with Jesus. I’ve started my journey over and over, then let the demands of everyday get in my way. I pray I am now ready to truly Rest. Rest In His Presence Daily, finding comfort and peace through His Word. I have found that a day that starts with His Word provides better focus for everything that comes after and gives perspective to all the “important” things going on in my life. When I make the Word my priority I truly find the rest I’m always seeking. Why then do my best intentions always fall by the wayside?  The reasons don’t matter. Letting the HOLY SPIRIT guide my life does. Here’s to a new beginning – with God in charge of my day.

May The Lord show you rest, too.

Darlene